The Pain of Becoming Self-Aware

I sat quietly as Gina whimpered these words, “John said I make him feel inferior.  He claims I don’t listen, and I think I’m the only person with feelings and who can do things right.  He wants a divorce.  No matter how many times I’ve said I’m sorry, he will not change his mind.  I regret all the mean things I’ve said to him, but shouldn’t I get another chance?   I can’t believe he would do this to me.”   


Sadly, Gina could not see how her self-importance and emotional reactions had injured her marriage.  I felt sorry for John because I knew he spoke the truth.  He endured more than his share of pain.  As a friend, I comforted Gina with a hug and an attentive ear. 

She needed time to think through the truth of John’s words.  Gina didn’t realize that she was already playing victim.  The fact is that John was a victim of Gina’s words; which bordered on verbal abuse.  Finally, he decided to show up for his life and change his destiny.


Live Consciously; Create Happiness

According to Pathway to Happiness, LLC, “Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you.  It also allows you to take control of your emotions, behavior, and personality so you can make changes you want.  Until you are aware, in the moment, of your thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior, you will have difficulty making changes in the direction of your life.”  



Like Gina, people tend to become more self aware when they are blindsided by painful truths.  In other words, the person involved recognizes and accepts his or her contribution to the outcome.  Subsequently, he or she practice improving upon their weaknesses or natural tendencies.   This awareness enables the person to forgive, heal, and work at getting better with more ease.  Gina had to accept John’s decision to move on, and she needed to forgive herself and move on too.


Gaining a New Perspective

Sometimes in life, we need pain to gain a new perspective so that we can grow and get better.  That being said, everyone has an opportunity to proactively develop self-awareness; instead of waiting to be blindsided.  Consider the thoughts and behaviors of a woman who receives a diagnosis of breast cancer.  Does her perspective about what’s important change, and how she spends her time?  Similarly, when the doctor warned me to change my lifestyle or succumb to insulin, I finally realized the importance of self-care.  I stopped being a people pleaser, and I said, “No” more often.  By reflecting on my personality, I knew what changes were necessary to transform my health.


By living consciously, you’ll be able to identify and improve your weaknesses through practice.  As a result, you become more aware of how you interact with others and the world.  Specifically, you create healthy relationships because you communicate with and treat others with respect and move on when others don’t treat you the same.

In essence, real happiness is derived through self-love and empathy. 

10 Strategies to live consciously and create happiness

  1. Keep an open mind; be attuned to the emotions of others
  2. Pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and personality
  3. Embrace respect when communicating in relationships
  4. Silence the negative chatter in your head
  5. Become mindful of your strengths and weaknesses
  6. Set boundaries and learn to say no
  7. Gracefully, walk away from toxic relationships
  8. Embrace your intuition: your brain communicates with your gut through the vagus nerve so pay attention to your gut feelings
  9. Train and calm your mind by staying focused; without becoming distracted by social media, etc.
  10. Become aware of your emotional triggers; process them before communicating with others

Dare to Be Self Aware:  Identify one or two strategies from the above list, and make a commitment to practicing self-awareness in these areas.


Create your happiness,


I received my training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, where I learned about more than one hundred dietary theories, holistic practices, and studied a variety of practical lifestyle coaching methods.
Learn more about my training and my unique approach to health coaching.



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